Combos of Doom

Recently I thought back on why I started writing this blog in the first place, and when I remembered the intentions were to decrease my weirdness (i.e., talking to myself) and increase my magnanimity, I actually burst out laughing.  As far as talking to myself is concerned, I'm doing it as much as, if not more than, ever before.  And clearly, if you've been reading these posts, you have realized that my attempts at being magnanimous have been subtle at best, and completely nonexistent in reality.


So I have returned to the place I frequently come to whenever I make some attempt at self-improvement, which is simply accepting who I am.  I am a crazy, talking-to-myself, evil person who enjoys picking humanity apart in order to point out all of the imperfections and laugh at them mercilessly.


That being said, this post will be devoted to what I have identified as three of the most unfortunate human personality trait combinations.  If you can help it, try your best to avoid people who match these descriptions.  And if you are one of these people, please feel free to enlist in the Space Pod Relocation Program as quickly as possible.

Just to get you in the mood for unfortunate combinations...

#1 Narcissism + Anarchy = The Narcichist

"No rules!  Except mine!"

Oh, yes, we have all met this blowhard jerkoff.  The Narcichist is anti-everything except for his (or her, I suppose, although let's face it - this dude is usually a dude) particularly rigid way of doing things.  He has figured out how everything in the world works, based on his singular experience, and has now generalized his personal mode of operation to apply to every other human being alive.  


If you don't subscribe to the rigid credo of his particular brand of "anarchy," then you are considered a submissive follower, a square, and a loser (since another sign of his brazen lawlessness is labeling and openly mocking anyone who doesn't agree with him).  This guy will also try to mask his cruel comments by stating he's "just being honest."  Look, Pal - do not equate being judgmental and rude with being honest.  Honestly is a virtue.  You're just a dick.


#2 Stupidity + Arrogance = The Stupogant

In spite of the fact that they are complete idiots, Stupogants believe they have the right to be in charge of everything.  They also have no doubt that their opinions, as ludicrous, short-sighted and illogical as they may be, are actually tried-and-true facts.  Most commonly due to patterns of structural privilege and social dominance, these folks have had the world handed to them on a silver platter to do with as they wish, and they believe this has occurred because they are superior beings, or God has chosen them, or some other such nonsense.


When this unfortunate combination is coupled with any sort of real or perceived power (e.g., a Stupogant is elected to office), the consequences are especially hellish.  The Stupogant is incapable of self-reflection or long-term thinking, shuns research and education, and believes that smirking, mocking, yelling, name-calling, and bombing are sufficient and appropriate rebuttals when faced with any form of opposition.  


You can thank this combo for the majority of human-on-human acts of violence.


#3 Pretension + Pathetically Low Self-Esteem = The Prethetic

"Worst.  Post.  Ever."

Imagine plodding your way through life, experiencing no successes or positive regard, and consistently wallowing in self-pity, angst, worthlessness, and despair.  After years of this plodding & wallowing, you determine that everyone hates you, and that they probably have a point.


Now picture that you discover one particular subject area in which you possess some sort of innate talent.  You study this subject obsessively.  After establishing a level of expertise, you then decide, for the sake of creating an initial shred of ego strength, that said subject area is the only important thing in the world.  [Examples of these areas of proficiency might include:  computer technology; French philosophy; video games; modern art; organic gardening; or show dogs.]  


This is not to say that there's anything wrong with mastering any particular subject.  However, when extreme proficiency is matched with cripplingly low self-esteem, that's when the pretension factor rears its ugly head.  When a person's fragile sense of self is completely tied to the public's acknowledgement of his or her expertise in a particular area, you will find that he or she will gleefully shower contemptuous condescension and general snarkiness all over anyone who demonstrates less mastery in that area.

Where Prethetics send the next generation to be trained

Woe to the poor Narcichist, Stupogant, and Prethetic, and woe to you if you happen to end up engaged in a debate with any of these folks, because it may last for hours.  If you find yourself in this situation, your best course of action may be to fake a seizure.


Or just pull one of these: