Your Bumper Sticker Hurts My Brain

I know I should not let stupid people enrage me.  When I'm confronted with this type of person, I should simply allow myself to smile and think, "Oh, well...another stupid person," or, "Tra la la...look - a squirrel!" or just think nothing at all, like most people seem to do.


However, some stupid people insist on flagrantly displaying their mental deficiencies in the form of bumper stickers so infuriating that I must use every anger management skill I've ever learned, taught, and/or heard of to keep from ramming the offender's car.


Example #1:  THANK GOD YOUR MOTHER WAS PRO-LIFE


Um...excuse me?  My mother is pro-choice, thank you very much, and she CHOSE to have me.   [Good choice, Mom!]  


Oh, and by the way, fuck you.  People as dumb as you have no right to talk about my mom.


Example #2:  ABORT OBAMA


Abort...Obama?  What?  Okay, I'm going to go ahead and assume that this guy (I know he's a guy, because I saw him) is a right-wing, "pro-life"/pro-war & pro-death-penalty Obama-hater.  But must he also reveal himself as a complete ignoramus with no understanding of human biology?  Abort Obama indeed.  This guy probably also believes that oral sex can lead to pregnancy.

Lately, as I've been driving around noticing incredibly stupid bumper stickers plastered on the stupid cars of stupid people, I've begun dreaming up my own equally stupid bumper stickers to enter the fray.  Here is but a small selection:


SAVE THE MOSQUITOS


The Earth Is Mine To Destroy


My Other Car Is A Team of Slave Children


LIFE CAUSES CANCER


Spotted Owls Can Suck It


Jesus Would Want You To Abort That Thing


Not All Who Wander Are Interesting


Reading Is For People Who Can't Get Laid


God Is An Asshole


Support Your Local Meth Dealer


Beelzebub Is My Co-pilot


Casey Anthony Was Framed


Please feel free to add any of these lovely slogans to the rear of your car.  Doing so would certainly be a great way to end up with one of these: