Blog Block

I think I may have run out of things to say, or perhaps just the will to say anything.  Since I hit my one year anniversary, I seem to have come down with a severe case of Blog Block.  Occasionally I'll get a flash of potential subject matter, but soon after the flash, negative self-talk begins.  My brain tells me things like:

• That's dumb.
• No one cares.
• That'll be complicated to write.  You don't have the skills.
• You should just watch another old "Lost" episode and go to bed.

I believe this type of thinking is indicative of the fact that I am entering, or have already entered, a state of dysthymia.  To those of you unfamiliar with that term, dysthymia looks, and feels, much like this:

Apparently, Dysthymia is also a defunct, Icelandic metal band.  Who knew?

Essentially, dysthymia is low-level depression.  Everything that a dysthymic person perceives is filtered through a lens of general cynicism and despair.  When one is in this state, friends seem like acquaintances, acquaintances seem like strangers, and strangers seem like enemies.  Nothing is particularly good, and most things are potentially awful.


Several years ago, my husband had an interaction with a stranger which perfectly illustrates dysthymic perception.  He went to a beach in Santa Cruz and was staring out at the ocean when another man walked up and stood by him.  They stood in silence for a few moments before the man said, "The ocean is filthy.  It's completely full of shit.  Whale shit, human shit, bird shit, fish shit.  It's just a giant toilet bowl."


Some people look at the ocean and see a beautiful, majestic, supremely powerful entity.  Their perception of life changes as they stare out at a seemingly endless, timeless body of water.  They feel insignificant and powerless, yet simultaneously serene and enamored by the beauty of this planet.

Apparently, other people look at the ocean and see this:

Those people are experiencing dysthymia.  And so am I.  I intend to be over it as soon as possible.