Maintain Who?

I recently facilitated a closing ceremony for a group of young women who had just completed the Women In Construction program at my school.  Every three months we enroll a new group of students, and the women who are joining the school's construction program begin a week earlier than other students so they can become familiar with basic construction tools, practices, culture and protocols before the male construction students start.


To begin the closing ceremony, each participant was handed a piece of paper that was folded into three parts and then given these directions:  in the first section, write a commitment you're making to yourself.  In the second, write a commitment you're making to the group.  In the third, write an old habit or belief system that you want to eliminate from your life because it does not serve you.


I shared my examples first to demonstrate the process to the group.  My commitment to myself was to maintain hope.  My commitment to the group was to notice whenever they are doing well & make sure to point it out to them.  The thing I wanted to get rid of was cynicism.  After I shared these commitments with the group, I tore off the third section of the paper and set it on fire.  When I could no longer hold the burning paper, I threw it into a metal can.


The other participants eagerly completed their papers and began sharing their commitments and stories one by one.  As is always the case in these types of situations, I was blown away and humbled by their candor and strength throughout the process.  One participant showed up late and asked if she could reuse someone's paper so she could participate in the ceremony.  I gave her my paper, and she wrote her three commitments on the back, shared with the group, tore off the third section, set it on fire, and threw it in the can.


At the end of the ceremony, one of the young women looked into the can to see what remained of the several papers that had been thrown in.  She remarked, "Wow!  There's nothing left!"  Then she looked more closely and said, "Oh, wait - there's your 'maintain hope'!"  She reached into the can and pulled out the torn, burnt remains of the commitment I'd made to myself, which had been written on the back of the section of paper that the final participant had burned.  The young woman handed me the paper with a big smile.  With the tears and burns, the paper now looked more like it said:  Maintain Hooo.

Now I keep that little scrap of paper on my desk.  I look at it daily to remind myself not only to maintain hope, but also about the reality of how difficult it can be to do so.  Though life rips, scours and singes us with its realities, we still must do our best to thrive, grow, and avoid despair.  That's what my students do, and they've been through every struggle imaginable.  Each day I look to them, and to the "maintain hooo" commitment, in my ongoing efforts to burn away cynicism and move forward with faith in the power of positivity.  


My goal is to replace cynicism with cautious optimism.  Wish me luck.